Tips For Great (Gay) Sex

Who doesn’t love sex? I certainly am not one of those people, that’s for sure. Most people love sex – and why wouldn’t we? It feels amazing, and is a way to show intimacy in a physical form. Having said that though, it is not as easy as simply “getting it on” and thrusting until you come. In fact, sex between two men is a lot more complex than people often realize. In this article, we’ll explain some great tips for having fantastic gay sex, which will help not just you make the most out of your time in the bedroom, but help your partner out as well!

Sex Toys are your friend!

When you think of sex toys, you may think of vibrators and dildos and the like, which are in reality mostly suited towards women. However, there are in fact sex toys that are catered to men, particularly for gay men to use in their own sexual endeavors. These toys are categorically described as “anal toys”, and they are primarily made up of anal beads and butt plugs. Using these anal toys for sex has quite a few advantages. For one, they are great for foreplay and getting both people ready for the actual sex that is soon to follow. They can also be used to supplement during sex and add extra pleasure to one partner (or both if you have multiple sex toys!). And when done properly, you can use sex toys to enhance your orgasms, by removing or inserting the anal toys right at the point of climax. But perhaps most importantly – they are a safe alternative to more intense sexual activity. Especially when one partner has any sort of STI’s and the other partner does not want to become infected themselves, replacing some (or even all) of the time typically reserved for real anal sex with sex toy play can really mitigate the risk! Learn to love sex toys, especially if you are completely new to anal play in general – they are a great tool to have in your toolbox.

shirtless man holding up big black anal beads
Anal sex toys, such as the anal beads pictured here, can really add a new dimension to your bedroom fun!

Rapid-fire thrusting is (usually) not fun

This is a tip not necessarily for the Bottoms, but rather for the Tops (i.e. the guys giving the pleasure). If you’ve ever watched porn, you’ll know how the actors there almost always engage in fast and hard thrusting. And while it sure looks sexy and fun on the surface, the truth is that you should not be engaging in anal sex that way in real life. Regardless of how experienced your partner is, pain is almost a guarantee when you begin inserting and removing your dick too fast. And while some pain is tolerable and worth it for the simultaneous pleasure, there are better ways to create more pleasure with less pain. And the solution is simple: thrust more slowly – at least to start. Take some time to get into a rhythm and figure out what both you and your partner want for the maximum pleasure. Once the mood is clear, the thrusting intensity can increase (or decrease) appropriately.

It isn’t all about the D

As hard as it is to believe, the truth is that sex is more than just where your partner’s penis is with respect to your body, and where your penis is with respect to his body. Sex is as much about the other elements of your bodies interacting as much as it is about your genitalia. Think about where your lips are and where they kiss all over your bodies. Or your fingers and how much pressure they apply and where. Even the weight of your body on top of his is an amazing sensation that should not be ignored. In summary, you should both be trying to feel each other’s entire essences as they interact with one another, rather than just focusing on each other’s dicks.

gay men kissing and touching each other intimately
The very touch of your partner’s hands and lips all over your body is just as important as the main attraction.

Focus on Breathing (and doing it in Sync)

Somewhat neglected when in the moment, by actually taking the time to focus on your breathing, you can really enhance the mood and amp up the pleasure that you experience. First of all, taking regular, deep breaths in general is very important to helping to circulate your blood flow and distribute oxygen throughout your body. By being consciously aware of your breathing, you also become acutely aware of the moment and the pleasures that come with it. As you can see, focused breathing not only has a physical effect on you, but a mental one as well. To enhance these benefits even further, it is ideal to try and time your breathing with your partner, so that you guys are both breathing in sync. This adds an entirely new layer of intimacy to the sex, so as much as possible, try to keep this in mind and try this out the next time you get the chance!

Take the time to be intimate after the sex is done

Being intimate immediately after orgasming is almost as important as the sex itself, especially if the two men are in a committed relationship. Think about if you’ve ever finished having sex and your partner immediately ran to the bathroom to clean up, or even just wanted some space in the bed to recollect themselves. Not the best feeling in the world, is it? And if you were the one trying to get some separation after the sex was finished, think about how that makes your partner feel. It can unintentionally indicate some negative feelings such as being shamed or guilty of what just transpired. Rather than behaving in that manner, you guys should do something as simple as spooning. It not only keeps the mood an intimate one for a little while longer, it also just helps to communicate to each other that you both valued the sex and that you both care about each other.

gay men in each others arms after sex
Being intimate after sex is a subtle but very effective way of showing them that you really care.

Make sex as special as possible

So often when we have sex, regardless of gender or sexuality, we rush through the motions and end up finishing faster without truly enjoying it the fullest. And that is really just a shame considering how rare sex can be for some people. For such an intimate and special occasion, we should always be taking the necessary steps to make the most out of it. For gay men, using the above tips will certainly help to achieve those ends. Take our advice to heart and you’ll not only have much more enjoyable sex, but can also make sex more enjoyable for your partner as well!